Finding out a couple is
engaged is exciting for everyone! You want to know everything about the
wedding: date, venue, dress, and most importantly if you’re invited!! If you’re
not close family, or one of the bride and/or grooms best friends, don’t assume you
are going to get an invite. The couple may have limitations due to budget, space in the
venue, or they simply would prefer a small, intimate wedding. Wait for them to bring up if you will be
there to celebrate with them, or wait for the ‘save the date’ in the mail. You
can still be excited for them, without asking.
You may think that since
you’re friends with the engaged couple, it’s okay to say: “I’m invited to your
wedding, right?” but that is NEVER okay, and ALWAYS rude. You’re putting the couple in such an awkward
situation by putting pressure on them like that. They may already know that you unfortunately
didn’t make the final cut, so they now have to tell you off-guard that they
can’t invite you, or they have to lie.
For the engaged couple, it’s best to say, “we’re still figuring out our
guest list and budget, but we hope we’re able to invite everyone.”
If you’ve never planned a
wedding before, you may not realize that inviting just one extra guest could
cost the couple upwards of $100! It’s a meal, dessert, and drinks for one extra
person. Plus with more people means more tables (which may not be included in
the venue cost, so it’s an extra rental cost), and another centerpiece, and if
it’s a floral arrangement, they really add up!
So really think before
assuming you’ll be getting an invite. A
lot goes into planning a wedding. I know
first hand that the hardest part about planning a wedding is trying to please
everyone. You may not understand the stress the couple has already experienced trying to find a wedding date that works with everyone important in their lives, as well as getting their dream wedding within their budget, in the process. You adding one more thing for them to stress out about isn’t fair.
First be excited for the
couple, and wait patiently to see if you will be with them on their special day.
XO, Val
