So, You Think You’re Invited To The Wedding?

Finding out a couple is engaged is exciting for everyone! You want to know everything about the wedding: date, venue, dress, and most importantly if you’re invited!! If you’re not close family, or one of the bride and/or grooms best friends, don’t assume you are going to get an invite. The couple may have limitations due to budget, space in the venue, or they simply would prefer a small, intimate wedding.  Wait for them to bring up if you will be there to celebrate with them, or wait for the ‘save the date’ in the mail. You can still be excited for them, without asking. 

You may think that since you’re friends with the engaged couple, it’s okay to say: “I’m invited to your wedding, right?” but that is NEVER okay, and ALWAYS rude.  You’re putting the couple in such an awkward situation by putting pressure on them like that.  They may already know that you unfortunately didn’t make the final cut, so they now have to tell you off-guard that they can’t invite you, or they have to lie.  For the engaged couple, it’s best to say, “we’re still figuring out our guest list and budget, but we hope we’re able to invite everyone.”

If you’ve never planned a wedding before, you may not realize that inviting just one extra guest could cost the couple upwards of $100! It’s a meal, dessert, and drinks for one extra person. Plus with more people means more tables (which may not be included in the venue cost, so it’s an extra rental cost), and another centerpiece, and if it’s a floral arrangement, they really add up!

So really think before assuming you’ll be getting an invite.  A lot goes into planning a wedding.  I know first hand that the hardest part about planning a wedding is trying to please everyone.  You may not understand the stress the couple has already experienced trying to find a wedding date that works with everyone important in their lives, as well as getting their dream wedding within their budget, in the process. You adding one more thing for them to stress out about isn’t fair.  

First be excited for the couple, and wait patiently to see if you will be with them on their special day. 

XO, Val